Imeeji IC contact

[ferociousfuckingnerd]

[A place to text Mori if need be go]

Comments

Re: Day 237 morning

[kingofexplodokills]

And if you don't tell me then we'll dance around this shit for for-fucking-ever and we'll never move past it.

I already said I have the hots for you, I did my part in embarrassing confession. Now's your turn.

Re: Day 237 morning

[ferociousfuckingnerd]

I know! I know! I'm trying, I am, I...

[He's terrified. He doesn't want to put himself out there again. He doesn't want to try and have fun and then feel that same misery again when Hardcore decides he likes someone else better. And he has so many better options.

But Hardcore is right. If he doesn't say it they'll never move past it. Mori puts his face in his hands and takes a deep breath. He can't look at him.]

I think I like you.

Re: Day 237 morning

[kingofexplodokills]

[ Part of him was hoping to hear those words exactly. He was hoping to hear them and that itself should be enough of an indication on his own actual feelings. It is what this entire thing has been leading up to, isn't it? All the playful flirting, and the heartfelt talks, and trying to move past their fuckery together.

But he never thought he'd actually hear them, and Mori coming out and saying it is still a shock.

Especially because when it comes down to it, he can't wrap his head around it ]

...

why?

Re: Day 237 morning

[ferociousfuckingnerd]

Why do you have to ask that!!

[He hates this. It just means rejection is coming, doesn't it? Hardcore doesn't want anything serious. He thinks Mori is hot but he doesn't like him, he doesn't want to date him, he's still working through too many of his own issues to consider anything like that. Mori thinks he must really be a masochist to keep putting himself in this position.]

Re: Day 237 morning

[kingofexplodokills]

You like me, but you don't like Duality.

[ He wants to cling to his ego and just say, of course, he's the hottest shit ever. Why wouldn't he like him more than other people? But then he remembers what Mori said about his dream, how he systematically bullied him for years, how Mori even thought about suicide to get him trouble, because he drove him to that point ]

It doesn't make any fucking sense is all I'm saying.

But you like me.

Re: Day 237 morning

[ferociousfuckingnerd]

[SO FRUSTRATED AND SO GUILTY]

I know! I know, okay, I know everything would be much easier if I liked Shouto, but that's not what we're talking about! You're the one always getting mad when people don't focus completely on you so don't drag him into it!

It was... It was nice, okay. It was fun. You made me happy.

This was stupid. I'm not expecting anything, just, forget it.

Re: Day 237 morning

[kingofexplodokills]

[ just. interrupting him the moment he says "forget it" ]

I like you too.

I wasn't sure about it and I didn't wanna think about it.

But the past few days have been tough. I kept wanting that shit with you and then thinking that it wasn't really you, so playing along was just fucking awful of me.

Re: Day 237 morning

[ferociousfuckingnerd]

[...oh

Oh.

Oh no what does he do with Hardcore actually honestly saying he likes him too HE HAD CONVINCED HIMSELF NOT TO EXPECT THIS BUT HERE IT IS.]

I - you - that...!

[Breathe Mori breathe also deal with Hardcore thinking he's awful STOP THAT RIGHT NOW]

W-Wait, you didn't, do anything that awful, I was the one who kept pushing it, a-and yes I wasn't exactly in my right mind to be doing any of that but I know, you were really trying hard not to take advantage of me, s-so don't feel like you were the one in the wrong when I was the idiot who kept trying to seduce you!

Re: Day 237 morning

[kingofexplodokills]

You don't gotta give me props for doing the bare fucking minimum, dumbass.

...

What do we do now?

Re: Day 237 morning

[ferociousfuckingnerd]

E-Even the bare minimum means you weren't being awful! That's all!

...

I don't know.

Re: Day 237 morning

[kingofexplodokills]

You gotta get better fucking standards, shit, bare minimum ain't acceptable.

[ He's not going to approach the WHAT DO WE DO NOW because there's a reason he asked and that reason is that he also doesn't know. This is terrifying shit. He should have talked it out with someone, and maybe he will - but how do you deal with feelings ]

Re: Day 237 morning

[ferociousfuckingnerd]

You're the one who's being too hard on yourself!

...What do you want to do?

Re: Day 237 morning

[kingofexplodokills]

I don't know ... Shit. Every time I try to think of it it's like I'm being pulled to way too many fucking directions at once.

I like you, and you like me ... but I haven't apologized and no matter what you say you can't just pretend shit between us never happened. Why'd you like a guy who fucking tormented you your whole life? That's fucked up.

It shouldn't matter if I like you or not.

Re: Day 237 morning

[ferociousfuckingnerd]

I'm not pretending it didn't happen, but it's different now! I still want that apology. I'm still mad about a lot of things and I'm not letting you off for them! But I'm not going to act like things haven't changed at all either. Yeah, you were awful to me! You know that and you're trying to make up for it now! You have made up for some things, even if you've still got work to do! Why does it have to be all or nothing with you! What the hell do you mean it shouldn't matter if you like me or not, haa?

Re: Day 237 morning

[kingofexplodokills]

Why the fuck isn't it all or nothing with you? If you gotta do something you might as well fucking do it properly, that's all I'm fucking sayin'!

[ This is bad he detests being unsure about anything ever but what the fuck does he do? ]

It doesn't matter because it doesn't change shit. Even if I wanted to try dating you then what comes after it? I can't.

Re: Day 237 morning

[ferociousfuckingnerd]

Because sometimes things take time and work and progress is slow but just because you're not all the way there, it doesn't make that progress you have made meaningless!

[He's getting mad, and getting mad makes it easier somewhow? His words come spewing out in anger before he can overthink them and freak himself out.]

If you can't, then you can't! I'm not making you do anything! If that's the answer, that we acknowledge it but don't want to take it further, then fine! At least we know where we stand! But don't decide how I should feel about you!

Re: Day 237 morning

[kingofexplodokills]

[ That seems to calm him down, at least, and he quiets down again, still tense but a little less terrified now that Mori said "I'm not making you do anything" ]

... All right. So it's just about where we stand to each other.

And I won't say that you shouldn't like me.

Re: Day 237 morning

[ferociousfuckingnerd]

...Good.

Because even if we're not in a good place to act on it, I do.

Re: Day 237 morning

[kingofexplodokills]

... I liked it.

Being able to mess around like that with you, not just 'cuz you're hot, but just because it was with you.

When I'm with you it's always fucking sparks and shit. Even when it's bad ... I keep wanting more.

Re: Day 237 morning

[ferociousfuckingnerd]

[Doki but trying not to be distracted by doki FOCUS MORI]

...It was good. Being with you, playing like that... because it was you, too. Seeing you get flustered, and excited, riling each oher up and challenging each other, seeing you smile... I wanted to keep doing that too.

But the other day, it felt like nothing really mattered. Now... I don't want to get hurt again.

Re: Day 237 morning

[ferociousfuckingnerd]

-Hurt from heartbreak specifically!!

[THIS IS NOT BULLYING RELATED HURT OKAY]

Re: Day 237 morning

[kingofexplodokills]

[ Oh. He thought it was going to be bullying but then he specifies. ]

Didn't you say you thought I wasn't gonna hurt you again...?

[ he seems to be hesitating a moment, but then he just reaches for his hand and grabs it, holding it as he tugs him to start walking again ]

What's got you thinking that I'd break your heart, huh?

Re: Day 237 morning

[ferociousfuckingnerd]

[Oh. W-Walking with him, but lingering behind a little because he doesn't want Hardcore to see his face]

. . .

S'just what happens. You've, got a lot of people, that you don't have all this mess with, you might like them more...

Re: Day 237 morning

[kingofexplodokills]

I don't like them that way.

Noah's madly in love with his hero from his world. With Glory's fun and easy and I like her, but it's different. And with—

[ did he tell him about Duality. SHOULD he tell him about Duality. Probably not. ]

... It's different. But you had this happen before, huh. Your whole "you don't wanna be the guy people just have fun with".

Re: Day 237 morning

[ferociousfuckingnerd]

[He doesn't know about Duality but he has suspicions backed up by very little evidence and mostly based on cynicism]

...Yeah.

[And he still thinks that even if Hardcore doesn't like them like that now, things could still change in the future, it's not like any of his previous crushes set out to play with his heart either.]