Imeeji IC contact

[ferociousfuckingnerd]

[A place to text Mori if need be go]

Comments

Re: Day 237 morning

[ferociousfuckingnerd]

I'm not pretending it didn't happen, but it's different now! I still want that apology. I'm still mad about a lot of things and I'm not letting you off for them! But I'm not going to act like things haven't changed at all either. Yeah, you were awful to me! You know that and you're trying to make up for it now! You have made up for some things, even if you've still got work to do! Why does it have to be all or nothing with you! What the hell do you mean it shouldn't matter if you like me or not, haa?

Re: Day 237 morning

[kingofexplodokills]

Why the fuck isn't it all or nothing with you? If you gotta do something you might as well fucking do it properly, that's all I'm fucking sayin'!

[ This is bad he detests being unsure about anything ever but what the fuck does he do? ]

It doesn't matter because it doesn't change shit. Even if I wanted to try dating you then what comes after it? I can't.

Re: Day 237 morning

[ferociousfuckingnerd]

Because sometimes things take time and work and progress is slow but just because you're not all the way there, it doesn't make that progress you have made meaningless!

[He's getting mad, and getting mad makes it easier somewhow? His words come spewing out in anger before he can overthink them and freak himself out.]

If you can't, then you can't! I'm not making you do anything! If that's the answer, that we acknowledge it but don't want to take it further, then fine! At least we know where we stand! But don't decide how I should feel about you!

Re: Day 237 morning

[kingofexplodokills]

[ That seems to calm him down, at least, and he quiets down again, still tense but a little less terrified now that Mori said "I'm not making you do anything" ]

... All right. So it's just about where we stand to each other.

And I won't say that you shouldn't like me.

Re: Day 237 morning

[ferociousfuckingnerd]

...Good.

Because even if we're not in a good place to act on it, I do.

Re: Day 237 morning

[kingofexplodokills]

... I liked it.

Being able to mess around like that with you, not just 'cuz you're hot, but just because it was with you.

When I'm with you it's always fucking sparks and shit. Even when it's bad ... I keep wanting more.

Re: Day 237 morning

[ferociousfuckingnerd]

[Doki but trying not to be distracted by doki FOCUS MORI]

...It was good. Being with you, playing like that... because it was you, too. Seeing you get flustered, and excited, riling each oher up and challenging each other, seeing you smile... I wanted to keep doing that too.

But the other day, it felt like nothing really mattered. Now... I don't want to get hurt again.

Re: Day 237 morning

[ferociousfuckingnerd]

-Hurt from heartbreak specifically!!

[THIS IS NOT BULLYING RELATED HURT OKAY]

Re: Day 237 morning

[kingofexplodokills]

[ Oh. He thought it was going to be bullying but then he specifies. ]

Didn't you say you thought I wasn't gonna hurt you again...?

[ he seems to be hesitating a moment, but then he just reaches for his hand and grabs it, holding it as he tugs him to start walking again ]

What's got you thinking that I'd break your heart, huh?

Re: Day 237 morning

[ferociousfuckingnerd]

[Oh. W-Walking with him, but lingering behind a little because he doesn't want Hardcore to see his face]

. . .

S'just what happens. You've, got a lot of people, that you don't have all this mess with, you might like them more...

Re: Day 237 morning

[kingofexplodokills]

I don't like them that way.

Noah's madly in love with his hero from his world. With Glory's fun and easy and I like her, but it's different. And with—

[ did he tell him about Duality. SHOULD he tell him about Duality. Probably not. ]

... It's different. But you had this happen before, huh. Your whole "you don't wanna be the guy people just have fun with".

Re: Day 237 morning

[ferociousfuckingnerd]

[He doesn't know about Duality but he has suspicions backed up by very little evidence and mostly based on cynicism]

...Yeah.

[And he still thinks that even if Hardcore doesn't like them like that now, things could still change in the future, it's not like any of his previous crushes set out to play with his heart either.]

Re: Day 237 morning

[kingofexplodokills]

...

Do you—

Want me to stop? Seeing other people. Even if we're not —

[ no, no, that's a stupid proposal and it's going to lead to stupid ideas and stupid everything. That's already commitment. And he shouldn't put the decision on Mori anyway, he obviously isn't ready either ]

Nevermind.

Re: Day 237 morning

[ferociousfuckingnerd]

Ah--

[He's actually asking? Mori is surprised, and kind of touched, but also that is a very anxiety inducing commitment decision]

It's - it's okay. You don't need to stop, or change anything.

Re: Day 237 morning

[kingofexplodokills]

I know, I shouldn't have put it on you.

...

Do you remember what I said? About you being a zombie not being a good reason to date you.

Re: Day 237 morning

[ferociousfuckingnerd]

[Ah. Putting a hand over his chest, he remembers that conversation, and all the serious things they talked about before, they argued a lot of things that didn't really get resolved didn't they]

Yeah, I remember.

Re: Day 237 morning

[kingofexplodokills]

Seems like it doesn't fucking matter because it fucking hurts seeing people fucked up regardless of if I'm with them or not.

But ...

I don't think I can handle it. Right now we just like each other, right? But — if I fall in love, and then something happens, and I can't do anything about it ...

Maybe they just fucking take you away.

Or maybe they use us being into each other against us.

I don't know ... how to handle that shit at all. So that's why I can't.

Re: Day 237 morning

[ferociousfuckingnerd]

. . .

Mm. I understand.

Re: Day 237 morning

[kingofexplodokills]

But—

If I were to decide I don't give a shit about that ... it'd be with you.

Re: Day 237 morning

[ferociousfuckingnerd]

[That

that is a lot.

He knows that's a lot, he knows Hardcore wouldn't say it lightly.

But in the end this is still a rejection.]

...I'm still not going to push you into making any decisions like that. But... Thank you.

Re: Day 237 morning

[kingofexplodokills]

... I'd like it if you kept wearing the earring. And I'll keep wearing the piercing you gave me, too.

Do you think that's okay?

Re: Day 237 morning

[ferociousfuckingnerd]

[Ducking his head]

Y-Yeah... That'd be okay.

Re: Day 237 morning

[kingofexplodokills]

... Okay.

[ Should he come out and say it even if they're going for commitment. At this point it's stupid to hold back, right? ]

Makes me feel like I'm yours.

Re: Day 237 morning

[ferociousfuckingnerd]

Ah...

[Oh no oh noooooo covering both of his hands with his face that's too much]

Re: Day 237 morning

[kingofexplodokills]

[ wow!! Reaching for his hands to pry them away from his face ]

Like that wasn't what you were thinking, come on!